This isn't a recipe, people.

I visit online cooking magazine websites occasionally, and have been known to receive a few in the mail. I do this for 1) Technique Exposure 2) Recipes.

Let me clarify what I mean by "recipe". By this, I mean something that takes more effort than slapping two pre-packaged goods together and heating slightly.

I'm no expert chef or baker, but many members of the last couple generations to step out of their
parents' kitchens are apparently woefully unprepared.  If the following shock/surprise/delight you, then I'm sorry to say, you're among them.

Maybe your mom didn't cook much, or your dad's idea of contributing to the dinner table is putting a jar of tomato sauce on top of any form of hot dog or sausage (like mine), I get it. My family and husbands are from the heartland, and if it doesn't have mayonnaise, Jello, or Cool Whip on it, they typically don't eat it. If it's green and "vegetable-like" it's kind of sneered at. "Salad" will be iceberg lettuce drowned in some kind of mayo-based dressing.  I really do know where you're coming from.

But, there's this thing called Food Network, and it's an easy place to start, as are several fine "easy cooking" magazines and books. I digress.

So I give you a few of my favorite Recipes that Aren't Recipes, actually published by "cooking" magazines, and a favorite posted user comment:

Pretzel Sparklers
http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/Pretzel-Sparklers

The Deal: Dip pretzels in melted white baking chocolate, cover with sprinkles.

Comment: "So easy and quick to make! Everyone wanted to know how I did it."  
REALLY? You must be a kitchen magician to turn out these!

Easy Chili Cheese Dog
http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/easy-chili-cheese-dog-106558.aspx

The Deal: Heat can of chili, put on top of heated hot dog and bun. Top with cheese.

Comment: "This recipe looks very delicious, healthier than the Sonic ones, quite simple to make. Just a few ingredients, and you'll be done in minutes!" 
How is it healthier? What's one unnamed, prepackaged hotdog and can of chili to another?

Favorite BLT
http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/favorite-blt-104841.aspx

The Deal: Put Bacon, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise on a TOASTED roll.

Comment: "Putting this basic classic recipe on a toasted roll really gave it a whole new twist!"
OK... I'm sorry your imagination stops just short of toasting bread.


Twinkie Cake
http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,166,145161-250199,00.html

The Deal: Place unwrapped Twinkies in pan. Cover with instant pudding, sliced bananas, and then Cool Whip.

Comment: "...This is going to be one of my new standard desserts because everyone loves it!"
I like to call this kind of thing the "I don't bake" special.